


Everyday we stray further away from god

by orphan_account



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Please Forgive me, a play on krycek saying something about receipts, theres an explanation for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 19:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14456292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mulder gets receipt surgery. this is a meme my friends





	Everyday we stray further away from god

**Author's Note:**

> so you know that meme where it’s like a girl getting heart surgery and the guy isn’t there when she wakes up and her dad is like “don’t you know who gave you the heart” but with mulder, Krycek, scully and receipts.

   Mulder was about to go to the hospital to have his receipt surgery done. Scully was sitting in his driveway in her car, and was getting pretty darn tired of waiting. 

   Krycek was lurking around the neighborhood, seething every time he saw people having a good time and not being miserable. Since they were such bad friends, Mulder found it necessary to go talk to him in detail about what was happening in his life. Instead of getting in the passenger seat of Scully’s car, he strode on over to where Krycek was lurking in a rose bush.

“I’m getting receipt surgery today,” Mulder said to the man who was merely among the bushes.

”I know,” Krycek said. Some of his War paint had sweated off, and he quickly fixed it to look cool as heck in front of Mulder.

”I hate you,” Mulder blurted out.

”I hate you more,” Krycek kried. “Wait lemme come with you though, b.” 

   With that, Mulder, Krycek, and Scully finally made their trip to the hospital. When he was put under anesthetics, mulder talked nonsense the way people usually do. Surprisingly enough, it managed to sound less ridiculous than what he said while he wasn’t high. 

   Mulder woke up a while later after the surgery. He saw that only Scully sat in the room. 

“Where is he?” he asked in a delirious voice.

”Don’t you know who gave you the receipts?” Scully said, giving him a concerned look.

Mulder started to cry like the little baby he is deep down inside. 

“I’m kidding, he went to the gulag,” said Scully. 

He felt relieved to know that Krycek was just in an unsanitary prison camp with inhumane standards of living, and that he hadn’t given Mulder the receipts. That would have been awful. 


End file.
